Exotic Trousers - Exotic Trousers

Train Tour to Rainbow City - The Pyramids

nospam@example.com (Sim) — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 20:41:46 +0100

My favourite Ska track ever. Shame the video isn't particularly inspiring but just sit back and imagine yourself on that train to Rainbow City (making sure you are very careful when passing Prince Buster's house).

A Trek Too Far?

nospam@example.com (Sim) — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 14:03:51 +0100

To ease the chasms of time leading up to the new Star Trek film I thought I would give Exotic Trousers readers the opportunity to listen to an audio version of a lost classic Trek episode.

Star Trek: The Angriness of Rojay is a play I wrote some years back and forced some of my mates to act in. I use the word "act" loosely. And wrongly. I myself play Dr Mcoy, Uhura (cough), High Priest Pee-Niss, Rojay and the Klingon that sounds a bit like Mr Kipling (and Dr McCoy). Some of the loosest acting comes from me.

The script was written to the same style and quality as the toons posted here on Exotic Trousers... I'm afraid. Please expect jokes worth an entire agricultural economy's worth of corn. Especially one for which I am truly sorry.

If you still want to, you can hear it here:

The Angriness of Rojay

Never before

nospam@example.com (Rob) — Thu, 08 Feb 2007 12:52:48 +0000

Do I refer to the Deep Purple song from the 1972 album Machine Head? No, not really, I preferred the song "Pictures of Home", yes, even more than "Smoke on the Water", both from the same ground-breaking album. But I ramble, digress, and generally lead you up the garden path, for I am talking about none other than the next episode of Templar Gold - The DogFlower, due out tomorrow (Friday 9th February 2007).

It is an almost unknown fact that episodes 1 to 10 of Templar Gold - The DogFlower are actually quite old (years), and have been seen before, by a privileged, select few. About three or four of us, in fact. Maybe more. But "never before" (clever, eh?) have the next chapters (11 onwards) in the story of The Dogflower been revealed to my eyes, or even Sim's, because he just drew it. Which also explains the difference in drawing style.

And no, he's not on drugs.

Enjoy!

Video: spray paint artist at work

nospam@example.com (Rob) — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 12:37:07 +0000

This is a remarkable video of an artist creating an alien world scene using spray paints. Just watching the creative process is amazing. You'd have to wait many, many moons to catch Sim in the act of demonstrating a creative process.

Templar Gold cometh!

nospam@example.com (Rob) — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 09:32:54 +0000

Those with criminal intent beware! Evil-doers tremble! Templar Gold cometh!

Google ads intelligence

nospam@example.com (Rob) — Tue, 31 Oct 2006 17:19:09 +0000

I've just started to put some Google ads on the Exotic Trousers Front Page. They're below the cartoon.

Google ads have some kind of "intelligent" way of determining which adverts to display, based on the content of the website. This time, they're having problems. There's not much text to go on, just the title "Exotic Trousers", and the name of the current cartoon Punishment (the link is from the archive rather than the front page, to future-proof this post). One of the ads being displayed is:

Essential Control Pants
Great range of bodyshaping control wear for ladies. (etc.)

The other ads seem to be mainly for oversize lingerie.

Which Kong is King?

nospam@example.com (Sim) — Mon, 23 Oct 2006 14:02:20 +0100

It is the question that has puzzled the ancients, especially if they have lived to the year 2007. What is the best version of King Kong ever committed to celluloid? Is it the thirties version with its stop motion wizardry, unreal and gloomy atmosphere and perfect length and structure, yet undeniable black and whiteness and a vegetarian dinosaur that eats people. Is it the noughties version with its superior special effects, realistic ape behaviour, emotional relevance, acrobatic dinosaurs and three hours longness. Or is it the seventies version with its big snake?

I believe the most effective way to measure the relative merits of each film is to see which Kong could have the others in a fight.

Now the noughties Kong is a bit of a bruiser and can give the slap to several tyrannosaurs at once. The thirties Kong had a bit of trouble with only one tyrannosaur until it fatally broke its jaw and jam came out. The seventies Kong fought a big snake.

But the thirties and seventies Kongs could band together and pull the plug on the expensive computer that houses the not really there noughties Kong. And for good measure they could break the neck of the computer nerd who created him. But then the seventies Kong, who is a man in a suit, could take hold of the thirties Kong, who is 12 inches tall and made of plasticine, and throw him out of the window to the street below, where he would be run over by a Fiat Panda.

So there you have it. The 1976 version of King Kong, with Jeff Bridges and Jessica Lange, is best.

How to cook apples

nospam@example.com (Rob) — Wed, 18 Oct 2006 12:28:38 +0100

Sim, I must lend you my wife's Delia book which contains instructions on how to cook apples ... nope, not a mention of wee anywhere.

And another thing...

nospam@example.com (Sim) — Wed, 18 Oct 2006 10:50:48 +0100

To further demonstrate my IT skills, last night I was able to work out how to use and recharge my new digital camera in two and a quarter hours (rounded down to two hours).

How do like the taste of them apples, Rob so-called webmaster? I suspect you will find it bitter and unpleasant, like cooking apples covered in wee.

Cheers, Sim

An honest accident!

nospam@example.com (Rob) — Tue, 17 Oct 2006 10:53:18 +0100

Despite Sim's misgivings, it was a genuine accident which left him unable to publish entries on this blog for a whole week. I happened to overlook a single setting for his account, that's all.

Welcomings

nospam@example.com (Sim) — Fri, 13 Oct 2006 15:22:01 +0100

Hi, this is Sim and despite what Rob says, I am actually well versed in IT skills. In fact I have successfully set up an X-Box with little help (not X-Box Live though, I’m not a genius).

Anyway, this is just a short note to say hello and hope you enjoy at least some of what there is to offer. My intention is that there will eventually be a vasty vault of cartoons on many various subjects. I’ll also be spouting regular gibberish now that I’ve managed to work out how to post properly.

Cheers.

Edit - I've just discovered why I've been unable to post for more than a week. Rob accidentally forgot to allow me update access.

Introducing ...

nospam@example.com (Rob) — Tue, 03 Oct 2006 22:36:19 +0100

Hi, welcome to Exotic Trousers, a new comic website. I'm Rob, the techy guy, and the other one is Sim, the, er techy guy. Actually Sim is the artist, but he does tech stuff too, so he claims. I also claim to be an artist, however you may never see me flaunt my remarkable abilities in that sphere.

Well, as I said, Exotic Trousers is a new website, a showcase of unique cartoon virtuosity. There, I've said it. Sim does the drawing and most of the scripts. I contribute the occasional script (ahem) and I also built this site. (My work site is Basically Tech.)

You can reasonably expect new cartoons to be added every Friday, at least for the time being. Sim is notorious for his tardiness, so we shall see how that pans out. He will be making entries to this blog, too, and he will no doubt vigourously defend himself, but since he doesn't have an account yet, this is glorious opportunity which shall not be squandered.

Enjoy the site, and I hope you come back for more.

Rob